A self indulgent guide for eating your way to the life you desire.
I love uncomfortable words.
The ones that feel like szechuan pepper on your tongue. Tingling, numb, the wait do I like this? feeling and then inevitably going in for more.
Words like vain, selfish, cocky, and disgustingly hot that land with tension to some ears.
I love to claim these words with my full chest knowing that their meaning changes based on your relationship to them. There’s something deeply empowering about making peace with words that would make a Puritan shudder.
I am undeniably alluring. Hot af. Clearly obsessed with myself.
Not only aesthetically but because I exude the energy of the pleasure I allow myself to experience.
That energy carries into my kitchen (it probably started there tbh) and has done more for me than any nutrition plan or traditional health guidance.
Living this pleasure is one of the most satisfying feelings of all time. I want you to be able to feel it too so I thought I would teach you the hot girl kitchen commandments that make it accessible.
Bom proveito.
I. Hot girl sets good conditions to be well fed.
Hot girl gets to be easy, breezy cover girl because she considers her future self.
Her being well fed is the inevitable outcome of being well resourced. She has things/people/systems she knows she can lean on that support her nourishment.
Let me paint you a picture.
You’re getting home from a long day of running around, overstimulated, with absolutely nothing to eat, vs. same situation but knowing you have an accessible, easy path to feeding yourself.
The second, fed version of you has way more capacity to handle whatever happens in the rest of the day and make it look good.
Quick Wins 4 Well Fed ConditionsKeep the dishwasher in flow.
Nothing kills the desire to cook like there’s no spoons left to stir.
Delegate everything you can to the dishwasher and keep it moving. When it comes to sink dishes remember that doing the dishes is not half as bad as thinking about doing the dishes.
If you have trouble motivating try the totally free FROZEN BADDIES meditation.
Have a go to playlist that breaks up stale energy and gets you excited to cook.
Keep your pantry stocked with building blocks that make a lovely meal: a can of big butter beans, tinned fish, grains, a bit of cheese, crunchy seeds, etc.
Always have something in your fridge for the hungriest version of yourself, maybe a frittata or a dense bean salad or Tony Soprano it with capsicola and other deli meats.
II. Hot girl is gassed up about her food.
Like attracts like. Deliciousness begets more deliciousness.
Naturally, you have to eat things that give off the loveliness you yourself want to embody.
Oh hello follicular phase olive oil carrot cake.
Respectfully the hottest person you know is not eating rice and chicken on repeat with a protein shake to break it up.
Their salads are not filled with a bunch of raw veg that include flavorless, watery tomatoes way past their season. They are not afraid of dessert.
In my head what I see is a big worn wooden table in the Mediterranean. The sun is pouring down. Colorful ceramics hold a variety of gorgeous ingredients. A spectrum of different colors, textures, food groups all coming together to make a layered bite that captures the full palette.
That’s sexy.
Although our lives may not look like that (yet), you can drip the essence into your day to day.
Prepared breakfast burritos with golden toasted tortillas.
A banana bread to snack on throughout your afternoons that week.
A pesto in your fridge that makes everything it touches taste better.
Even just reading those words I can feel my digestive tract turning on like mmmmm I want that!
Make sure the foods that get your body excited are part of your week. You don’t have to suffer to the life you desire. You get to enjoy yourself as you invite more and more of what you want to the plate.
Btw inside the Cycle Syncing Kitchen you can find pleasure forward recipes created to benefit your menstrual cycle and overall health.
III. Hot girl can at any moment be FED within 15 minutes.
She has agency in the kitchen.
She knows how to make eggs insanely delish. The difference between the driest yolk of your life and a jammy soft boiled egg with some scallions and chili oil decorating the top.
^^^Two under 15 minute cycle supportive recipes. Access the emergency yogurt bowl recipe.
It’s not about becoming a master chef, or doing the most, but instead being able to look at what she has and effortlessly bring together a little of this and a little of that to create something on her plate that makes her belly smile.
The only way to really get this one is through lived experience.
By letting yourself fuq around and find out in the kitchen. Guided in part by your own taste buds and in part by what actually feels enjoyable to you to do in the kitchen.
The more you play, the more you learn what works for you.
A cute way to try this for yourself is the emergency yogurt bowl recipe, swapping out ingredients depending on what you have or where you’re at in your cycle. The Greek yogurt is your blank canvas.
The more you play, the more feeding yourself centers around the pure intention of what am I in the mood for? Followed by the actions required to bring that to life for yourself.
IV. Hot girl can’t help but experience pleasure in her daily acts.
She sees cooking as something she gets to do.
It is a delight to give herself the time on Sunday to make a few grab n go snacks for the week. It is a joyous occasion to put on Nora Jones and bring out a copper pot to make sauce in.
Mind you this is not in a bypassy, toxic positivity way.
It’s about feeling genuine gratitude in your body for the life you get to live and the body you have the honor of taking care of. Again this is something you build through lived experience.
Give it a go...
You can start by taking yourself on a date. Spend the entire day with you, following the cues of your own desire. It’s all you deciding what to eat, where to go, what to see.
An inzaneee, seaweed and bone rich ramen bowl for my menstrual phase date.
Instead of rushing through the experience, check in on your date. Taking a beat to capture how your body feels through each met request.
V. Hot girl knows her way around a condiment.
This is very symbolic of being a person who likes to zhuzh up life. Somebody that sprinkles a little extra loveliness into the experience just because it feels good and she likes it.
It might look like adding a garlicky, lemony slurry on top of your soup or a great hot sauce to your sandwich, but it's more than that.
It's being okay with being a little extra. Asking for more deliciousness out of your experience, even when what's already there is technically fine.
A great example of this is my luteal phase chili crunch recipe that elevates everything it touches.
VI. Hot girl values beauty.
Many have cast the word vain at people who prioritize beauty.
Hater behavior. The patriarchy has your vision fried, dyed, and laid to the side behavior.
Beauty is a healing path.
Growing up under our conditioning, it sounds way too good to be true that caring about flowers, making your food look gorgeous, taking the time to set the table, or creating a home that delights your senses could actually be part of taking care of yourself.
It's supposed to be hard. It's supposed to be grueling. You're supposed to suffer to make something worthwhile, no?
No.
Beauty is not the prize on the other side of you finally becoming successful. It is the thing we must claim today.
A meal you want to look at is a meal you're excited to sit down and eat. A kitchen filled with objects you love is a kitchen you're more inclined to spend time in. Taking pleasure in how you dress, move, and care for your body becomes another way of finding presence.
The sooner you detach from the idea that suffering gives something its value, and allow beauty (whatever that means to you) to matter in your life, the fewer years you'll spend subscribing to suffering when you could have been enjoying yourself.
VII. Hot girl makes space for other people.
There are times when pleasure exists in solitude but in the big picture, your heart wants to share in life with others.
You could be the baddest thing in the world, and if no one is there to witness you, what’s the point? You could have the best food ever, but if no one is ever there to moan about how excellent it is with you, what is the point?
There's a particular kind of joy in experiencing something delicious with another person. It is a deeply satiating feeling that transcends any calorie. Feeding you past what is on your plate.
It doesn’t have to be a dinner party with a three-course menu and a perfectly set table. (Though that has its time and its place.)
More often it's inviting a friend over to eat whatever's already in the fridge. Making extra when you cook just in case. Bringing your creations to the function for everyone to try.
Connection is such an important part of our health, and of course that spills into how we look and feel. But beyond that, sharing your life with people you love is kind of the whole point of being alive.
Made even richer with the menstrual phase fudgyliscious flourless chocolate cake.
VIII. Hot girl knows how to work what she’s got.
Hot doesn’t automatically equate to balling unfortunately.
What it does mean is that you are able to find pleasure and pursue your desires regardless of external situations that aren't giving what you'd like them to give.
And this goes well beyond food.
You don't need to wait for the bigger apartment, the designer kitchen with the island, or the bank account to match the life you're imagining before you start participating in it.
Sometimes the circumstances are not very cute.
Sometimes the spot you find yourself in is so incredibly frustrating because you know you have bigger potential than that.
Yet there's still a little juice to squeeze out of the half lemon wrinkling in your fridge, helping you handle the moment and keep it pushing with a proper fat/acid ratio.
~
My last thought on the matter, women that are openly into their vanity, get burnt at the stake because the villagers think she thinks she’s better than them.
That’s so not it.
Let’s put down the police state surveillance of each other and be so madly in love with ourselves that we nourish the bodies we live in and the planet we live on.
Claim your hotness and watch how delicious your life gets.
